You’re a hopeless control freak

After meeting with my 121 client, I shared my thoughts with her:

“A truly enlightening day and it felt great to see you have ‘lightbulb/aha moments’ as I believe these are the times, the unconscious becomes conscious.

As you know, it’s our unconscious patterns/emotions that drive our behaviours and create the life we live. So, when the unconscious becomes conscious, we are not only gaining clarity on what didn’t previously make sense, but we are then aware of what changes we want/need to make that will ultimately transform our own selves and in turn our lives.

Today you recognised the under lying feeling that has laid dormant, left unprocessed, covered over, denied for many years. That feeling is HOPELESSNESS.

You decided that to avoid this feeling of hopelessness, it made perfect sense to CONTROL as much of your life as best you can…hence why you call yourself a ‘control freak’.

Being a control freak is like any other addiction: ‘I reach outside of myself to find that ‘something’ that will fill that ‘hole’ inside of me’. Your efforts will always be futile. What we forget is that ‘hole’ can only be filled up from the inside and NOT from the outside.

Hopelessness is not a ‘bad’ thing, it’s just that it feels uncomfortable, wrong, crappy or anything other than lovely. The reason it feels crappy is because you are DISCONNECTED from the very part of you that is Divine, whole and complete ~ your inner being ~ your soul ~ your truth which can never feel hopeless.

We are not taught that it’s OK to feel crappy and that to feel crappy is ‘actually’ part of being human.

We are also not taught that to listen to ourselves, trust ourselves or to follow our own inner guidance system is CONNECTION and this connection is the easiest and simplest way to feel instantly better/ good when we are experiencing pain or discomfort.

Because, as human beings, we are here on earth to experience life at its fullest, both the highs and lows and everything in between with the ultimate goal being a joyous and blissful experience. The problem we find, is that feeling the lows does not feel good, so we do all we can to negate, avoid, suppress, hide from the lows and protect ourselves from feeling the lows again.

This is where we make the decision, unconsciously or consciously:

“I will control my life and make sure that everything in it and around me is just as I want it to be, so I will then feel good/happy and I won’t have to feel bad or hopeless again ~ PERFECT”.

However, it doesn’t work like that!

I think here is a good place to recognise there are Universal Laws that orchestrate and govern our existence. The Law of Polarity is relevant here because this law states that everything that exists is on a continuum and has an opposite. We only know day because we know night. Same goes for up and down, hot and cold, good and bad.

This Law demonstrates that it is impossible to negate the lows in life or the feelings that make us feel bad and to pretend they don’t exist, because they do.

Mastery of the Law of Polarity requires learning how to maintain balance, focus, and detachment from the distractions of the material world.

The only time we will feel harmony within ourselves and our lives is when we CONNECT with our whole~self by accepting we are designed to FEEL the whole spectrum of feelings. Our feelings don’t define who we are. Just because we may feel hopeless ~ it doesn’t mean we ARE hopeless. Just because we FEEL angry ~ it doesn’t mean we ARE angry.

Our emotions simply pass through us because they are energy in motion, and they are evidence we are alive.

Feel your feelings and allow the energy of them to pass through your body.

Having said that, we are programmed to NOT feel certain feelings. This is why it is necessary to connect to your~self on a daily basis and allow the vision you have for yourself to guide you forwards by feeling the good feelings of your future vision, NOW.

How do you connect with your whole~self ?

Take a few minutes a day to BE STILL and concentrate on your breathing.

WARNING!! Your Ego/ your conscious mind will NOT want you to do this, so it will find a way to prevent you from being still. EG: it will remind you that you didn’t call so and so. Or your nose might itch. Or you’ll remember something you ‘need’ to do. Or it will tell you you are not comfy…anything to stop you connecting with yourself.

So now you know this and you know it’s your Ego, you know to say to it ‘thank you for being there but I’m in charge now’ and come back to your breathing. It will take practice. Even if you spend the whole 10 mins asking your Ego to leave you in charge, it’s all practice. Just like training a dog, it will get it and you will find it easier to BE STILL and BREATHE.

The idea of being still and connecting to yourself is to slow the rapid rate of your brain waves of Beta (awake, alert, thinking)  to a slower rate of Alpha ( physically and mentally relaxed) or possibly even Theta (creativity, insight, deep states).

We CANNOT manifest any change in ourselves and our lives from a physical place. Matter does not change matter.

We must connect and be comfortable with the powerful, invisible, and the energy INSIDE of us, to see any change OUTSIDE of us.

Daily practice is what it takes to rewire and reprogramme new ways of thinking and feeling, to then in turn see the benefits in yourself and your outside world.

What does connecting to yourself look like?

Ultimately it’s about meditation and meditation being ‘the space where you stop your thinking mind from thinking thoughts and become familiar with the power of love that beats your heart’.

BEing still and listening to a guided meditation or

BEing still and focusing on your breath or

BEing aware and present to your emotions and feeling your feelings or

Losing yourself in the moments when your feel Joy, love, peace, passion and any other positive good feeling emotions or

Listening to high vibrational music or

Colouring or

Walking in nature or

Practicing gratitude or

Laughing and having fun!!  A just a few suggestions.

An important factor to remember is the necessity of doing this work every day and making way in your life for connecting with yourself. Even if it’s the smallest amount of time, the Universe knows you are choosing YOU and will clear the way for your greater self and your vision to become a reality.”

“Greatness is holding fast to a dream, independent of the environment” Dr Joe Dispenza